Intermission;

It has been ten months since I posted the beginning of my story. Since then I have had a miscarriage, became pregnant a month later, went into a very dark depression, dealt with illness after illness in our household, sold our home, bought a new one, moved into an apartment, spent two months remodeling our new house, moved again and am now waiting for the new baby due in two weeks. I am happy to say that I have succeeded in keeping both my babies alive, my marriage still in tact and have gained traction in my healing journey. Not because of me though. I attribute it to Jesus, my husband, friends and the collective body of Jesus (as in church)!

I do plan to continue writing my story. But I thought maybe I’d expound some on what has all been transpiring in my mental health journey. 

First of all, I want to tell you something about me. I struggle with a lot of fears. For example; fear of losing friends, fear of screwing up relationships, fear of judgment (probably one of the biggest), and so many more. I am slowly beginning to recognize how invalid so many of those fears are and how they’re plants from the enemy to keep me bound up and away from the purpose God has created me to live for. 

In that, I have had a paralyzing fear of being open and vulnerable about my story. I don’t understand where that fear all comes from yet, it’s really hard for me to psychoanalysis my fears, but I believe that those fears are proof the enemy wants to shut me up. So, with the help of Jesus, I want to fight against, renounce and stand up to the enemy and not allow him to win this battle anymore. 

I want to tell you the story of how I came to this realization. The realization that I have been dealing with a dark, sinister power and principality that has been fighting to keep me from healing and coming out the victor in this battle for mental, emotional and physical healing. I’m going to put the story in it’s own post, so pop over there to read it. 

Thank you for going on this journey with me!

-Sarah

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